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| I'm weighing my options, here are the frontrunners:
1.) Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it
- Ferris Bueller
2.) It's better to burn out than it is to rust.
- Neil Young
3.) As I get older, I get smaller. I see other parts of the world I didn't see before. Other points of view. I see outside myself more.
- Neil Young quote
4.) Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.
- Salvador Dali
5.) There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.
- Salvador Dali
6.) You look like you're wearing a uniform. You look like a punk. That's not rebellion, that's fashion."
- SLC Punk!
7.) I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
- Derek Zoolander
8.) That is our invisible carrot.
- Chuck Palahniuk "Guts"
9.) Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.
- Jack Kerouac
10.) Some people see things as they are and ask 'Why?',
I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"
- Edward M. Kennedy
11.) Inside all of us is a Wild thing
- Where The Wild Things Are
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| I've noticed that I always begin my blogs with "It's about time I right a blog" or "It's been a while since I've posted here" or something along those lines. So I think I'll try something different today.
The more I think about the future, the better I'm able to organize the chaos that lies ahead. I've decided, I'll still apply for residency in England, but moving there is something that will happen in time. I've decided before making such a drastic change in my surroundings I'll do something more tangible. I've made up my mind. I'm so tired of this tradition of going to school right out of high-school, it's so cliche and just makes senior year a stressful bitch. My mom's more than happy to let me take a year off. Currently she's a couple hundred miles away in Barbados, dealing with estate issues. I'm basically left here on my own for a few months. Balancing school and doing real-world shit (exp. : bills and grocery shopping)... just barely. I'm staying at my mother's friend's house. She isn't great when it comes to supervising me, a seventeen-year-old. She'll take my word for anything. Friday night/ Saturday morning is a perfect example.
Well I left rehearsal at six on Friday to meet Sarah and Randy at the mall. From there we headed to Randy's house for Rosh Hashanah dinner, which might I add was fucking delicious. I love Jew food. After hanging out and being a terrible influence on the toddlers in his house we hit the road and head for Walmart cause we had some serious munchies. After reaping havoc in Walmart we decided to drive out to EYCC for shits and giggles, maybe go for a swim. To our dismay, there was a large gathering of Boy Scouts and our plan was foiled. We hauled ass and called up Morgan. We decided to go see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs at 11:20. I called up Becca and Conor to see it with us (which ruined our plans to get high, we know those two don't approve of the ganja). The movie was a lot better than we expected. We loitered at the drive-in until almost 2 in the morning, running around and doing cartwheels. Everything you're not supposed to do at a drive-in. When we got bored with that, we headed down to Lake Worth Beach. We pretty much did the same thing as at the drive-in. We went to 7/11 for slurpies and were up to our usual shenanigans. I guy working there even asked us "if we were ok" with that accusing 'you guys are completely trashed' tone to his voice. I can't blame him it was almost 3 in the morning. We headed back to Greenacres to go to Sonic with Becca and Conor. We hung out in Becca's car reflecting on the good times we had at EYCC and future provisions for other staff members. When 3:30 came around, Becca and Conor decided they'd head home. Sarah, Randy and I decided we would head all the way to Tequesta to play with the Ouija board in that cemetery from last time. Well, to make a long story short, we ended up in Martin County. The next county up. We were tired an delirious and the Sarah, the normally expert driver, was now occasionally swerving to the opposite side of the road. It wasn't safe. We wound up at a park next to the beach and slept on a dinky blanket on a patch of grass overnight outside the car. I guess you could say that was our first experience being teenage vagrants. Practice for the future. Anyway. We got two hours of sleep and had to wake up at six in the morning to take Randy back to Sarah's place for a shower so we could take him to a beach clean-up thing for volunteer hours. After we dropped Randy off, Sarah and I went to Burger King for breakfast. After making a trip to the bank, she dropped me home. I was somehow home before noon. I love my friends. I love living life to it's fullest.
As for my plans for the future, they go a little something like this:
1.) Apply for English residency.
2.) Get license. Fix up an antique car or van.
3.) Graduate.
4.) Be an instructor at EYCC for the summer. Don't spend any money at all.
5.) Go an epic road-trip across the North American continent while, working odd jobs, living out of my vehicle and doing to a shit-load of festivals. Burning Man is a top priority.
6.) Come back home. Work on portfolio.
7.) Apply for college... somewhere.
8.) We'll see where it goes from there.
Right now I'm just hanging out downtown. I'm never where I'm supposed to be. I just saw the Mayor like a million times. Today is a peculiar day.
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| So I decided today is the day I start figuring out ways to get my shit sorted the fuck out.
I already know the traditional American life (High-school, college, university, cubicle work, marriage, kids, retirement) is NOT for me. So here's what I've got so far:
1.) Be a camp councilor at Everglades Youth Conservation Camp with Sarah Denison this summer. Buy a macbook and lots of art supplies (keep the rest of the money locked up until I graduate).
2.) Focus on my five art, two academic classes senior year. (take some more interesting classes on FLVS like Psych, if I can fit it in.
3.) Apply for a shit-load of scholarships.
4.) Attend more Food Not Bombs meetings.
5.) Audition for American Idol just for the hell of it.
6.) Start applying for U.K Visa/ Residency when I turn 18.
7.) Graduate.
8.) Move into my grandfather's house in London.
9.) Travel from hostel to hostel around Europe with Nick and Sarah Denison.
10.) Find a studio/flat or stay with the Sincklers for a few months.
11.) Get a job.
12.) Have house appraised and find out what walls can be removed and what additions can be made.
13.) Get a Home Equity Loan.
14.) Completely renovate my Grandfather's house (fix the foundation, change the entire layout of the ground floor, upgrade kitchen, add new bathroom upstairs, create a third floor/bungalow with a bathroom, make the entire house aesthetically pleasing. Document entire process and
15.) Move back into the house.
16.) Find a cool room-mate or two and create a saving's account for Hyacinth's care at the home.
17.) Enroll in art college for interior design.
18.) Graduate and go to university.
19.) Graduate university.
20.) Start my own interior design firm.
21.) ..... Who knows.
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| Yup. He's dead. I know I sound like kind of a dick when I say this, but I don't feel sad and I know I never will. I've met the man one time in my entire life and that was when I was ten years old. So as a result, I ended up taking two weeks off school to plan and actually spend a week in England. I got to see is body after being embalmed and on ice waiting for us to arrive for almost a month. He was wasting away and gradually turning black. I still can't say that phased me at all. I mean, I've seen worse on rotten.com. I'm disappointed I didn't get to know him. Actually, my mother was planning a visit during the summer but evidently that wasn't soon enough. It wasn't a very exciting trip. If anything, you could saw for an infinitesimal period of time, I was just a normal citizen of London, England. I ran errands, used public transportation, and cleared out my grandfathers house. There were some interesting finds; three cameras (including a Polaroid Land Camera), a few dozen photo albums chronicling trips all over the world, an extensive, stamp collection and logbook from the 1940s when my Grandpa was in the Royal Air Force. I realized that my grandpa was ridiculous amounts of cool. Cooler than your grandpa ever will be. He had a fucking Wutang Clan hat hanging on his wall! Yeah! Beat that! | | |
| Tonight I'm thinking about life. I'm thinking about my future. I'm starting to seriously think about taking a year off after I graduate to explore the world and evaluate what I want to make of myself. I'm not sure if hopping right on to the college boat is really for me. I want to mature and really get a sense of myself before I go about making significant life-altering decisions. I want to have a stable life. I don't want to end up in my mother's situation of constant moving and career changes. I want a home-base.
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